How to talk to your partner about how you're feeling
Communication scripts and strategies for one of the hardest conversations new parents face.
Research consistently shows that social support — especially partner support — is one of the strongest protective factors against PMADs. But asking for that support is hard.
Why it's hard
Many mothers worry about being seen as weak, overwhelming their partner, or not being believed. These fears are understandable but usually unfounded.
Scripts that work
Opening the conversation: "I've been feeling really struggling lately and I need to tell you about it. Can you just listen for a few minutes without trying to fix it?"
Asking for specific help: "The thing that would help me most right now is [one concrete ask — e.g. taking the baby from 6–8pm so I can sleep/shower/breathe]."
If your partner doesn't respond well
Some partners minimise, deflect, or get defensive. This usually comes from their own fear and helplessness, not indifference. Try sharing an article or resource. If it continues, a couples therapist who specialises in the perinatal period can help enormously.
Maternally is a support and screening tool, not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.